(which incidentally is the name of a California blend white wine)(this is relevant because of the California and because of the name)(there also isn’t actually a conundrum, just thinking)

TO CLARIFY. I read a lot of online journals. I hate the word blog. It’s awkward to say. Online journal is more dignified. ANYWAY. I read a lot of them. And being obsessive-compulsive me, when I like someone, I read all of them. Like, keep hitting older posts until I get alll the way back to the beginning. If this sounds stalkerish, it might be. But! It’s like you find a good book! But you came in on the last chapter, and there’s another one coming out soon, so you read all the other chapters backwards! Or something. Anyway. A couple of these people who I read are in the Bay Area. One of them moved there recently, and they are making me want to move back so bad. I already wanted to. I love California and I miss it and there’s only a few people here that I would miss and one of them is totally up for moving out there with me in a couple years. But these people’s journals are making me want to go NOOOOOWWW. 

Here’s the catch. School. I like the program I’m in (or technically almost in, but really, look at my grades. I’m in.) and it’s the best in the country (fortuitous, eh? It’s the only place that offers this degree that I can go to, and it happens to be the best. In the country. Win.) Where was I? Oh yes. I like the school. And I’m taking this barrel of other classes, because I want to do all this other stuff. After I do this program, which will take another 2 years, I want to go to this other 4 year college that is part of the same system, and which has a ton of research-geared courses. I don’t want a full undergrad, but I do want to take enough classes to be able to get into graduate school (yes, yes, I know. Have faith). My AAS plus all thes other classes, plus classes at the next school…. 

I mean, I want to do it. They’re the right courses, I’m interested, it’s what I want to be doing. But it’s here. In New York. Not in California. And I may need to investigate more, but I’m pretty sure nowhere in the Bay offers the equivalent of what I’d get here. To sum up- ARGH. 

To further pull the heartstrings, a friend of mine from high school is moving out here in a month or so, and asked on facebook is anyone was interested in a “large two bedroom craftsman near downtown oakland for 1250”. ARGH. WHY. TEASE. Though downtown isn’t great, but come on. It’s a start. It’s good. I love craftsman houses. It’s the right kind of place for the right price. Anyway.

So, not really a conundrum. I’m here, it’s where I need to be, California can wait. Damnit. 


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