Written 2 days ago

I’m writing this in an email at work, will post eventually.
I’m exhausted. Somehow I can’t work as much as I used to be able to. Though then I remember that I haven’t really had a day off in 3 weeks, and I had a few solid weeks before that. So being wiped out is not totally ridiculous.
I just set up for the dance show that I do every year in New Jersey, and get to run it tonight and tomorrow. The setting up went smoother than usual, which was great. I hired a friend of mine from the usual fashion stuff, and he grew up in the area, so we were able to actually go out and get lunch (he paid. Unexpected, nice, and odd) and we worked a good steady pace. The one snag was not having the right kind of adaptors, so we sat around and watched dancers try to unroll a marley floor until those showed up. But then the real fun started. They have this front light that’s way up in the ceiling, a pretty good position for front light, actually, except that there’s no way of reaching it. The genie lift that they have is about 10 feet short, and the only other option is to put the genie on a forklift, or something like it, and lift that up. Which is ridiculous, and the school won’t let me do. The fucked up thing here is that it’s been getting progressively worse every year. In more than 3 years, they haven’t gotten anyone to come out (they have a company that does this stuff for them, supposedly) and, say, replace the 5 lamps that have burned out. Lift up the other 4 that have dropped focus. Ridiculous. It wouldn’t be so bad except that they’re charging the dance school about 14 grand to use the theatre for the weekend. For that kind of money, all the lights you have had better work. Irritating. Also irritating is that I could have rented lights to fill in and sort of fix this, but the operations guy kept giving me false hope about being able to reach them. So now when I go in today I’m going to take the lift up as high as I can, and poke at the lights with a stick, see if I can fix the focus of the few that work just a little.
Next saturday John and I are going to his friend’s wedding. This guy should not be getting married, and knows it, but is going through with it anyway out of some feeling of guilt or obligation or something. They’re just going to get divorced and then he’ll have to pay child support for the kid she already has, along with giving her the house and just about everything else. I understand that since women usually get the children in a divorce, and have to single parent and work at the same time, they should get some kind of payment. But I think divorce laws in this country should be worked over. Or something. Another of my friends just finalized his divorce. They were together for a few years, no kids, she left him. And yet! He has to pay her 600/month for the next two years, plus take out a 20,000 life insurance policy with her as benificiary, plus pay 2,000 of her lawyer fees. Plus his own. This is retarded. I may be a woman, but I think dovorce settlements favor women way too much. But I’m getting ahead of myself. What’s irritating at the moment is that this woman that Rob is marrying, while she is a perfectly nice person and all, is putting all kinds of restrictions on him. Like- she came over when he and John were sitting around having a beer and freaked out because “oh my god, you can’t drink in front of my kid”. Like- she told him he’s not allowed to buy anything for the next year, because they have to pay for the wedding. This means specifically, anything he wants to buy car part wise, or tool wise or anything else that qualifies as a ‘toy’ is verboten. But he and his parents are paying for the whole wedding, she’s putting in nothing. Etc etc. The list of her faults goes on. Basically, she’s single, has a kid, and is starting to worry about that, and so found Rob who can support them. I really hate women like this, and I hate that there are men that let them be. And Rob is a really cool guy otherwise, so it’s kind of depressing that he is one of those guys. I get, though, that at this point he feels guilty, perhaps like he’s led her on, and so feels trapped and like he’s obligated himself into this corner. Because he is a nice guy. But it’s just going to fuck them all over later, especially him. Frustrating.
John is particularly irritated about all this (especially since he’s a groomsmen and has to wear a tux), but we’re both looking on the happy side of an open bar, a hotel room, and me taking the next 3 days off work so we get 5 days to just hang out and do whatever. That part is going to be great.
It’s been really unsummer-like around here, which is depressing. We got a couple weeks and I got to wear dresses, but then it turned grey and drizzly, with a few thunderstorms mixed in. I like the summer thunderstorms, but the rest of it needs to go away. Especially for the wedding, since I have a pretty new dress to wear.
I’m getting sick of my day job. Which makes sense, for most work I have an attention span of under 2 months, and I’ve been here just over that. I’m just bored, and getting so much other work that this and it’s 12/hr seems really not worth it, but at the same time I like the people here, and I feel obligated to finish projects. But I’m bored, so I stall, and projects take twice as long. But it keeps me from getting to many new things to do.
I’ve been reading a lot (need to update my list there), and most of it really good stuff. I’m currently getting bogged down in Justine, by Lawrence Durrell. I like it, but it’s so thick and heavy. Not literally, it a nice slim paperpack of good holding size. But word-wise. I’m sort of dreading that there are three more of the Alexandria quartet to slog through. But maybe I’ll acclimate and it’ll get easier to read. The interesting thing is that I can actually see the similarity between his writing and Gerald Durrell, his brother’s. They both have this fantasticly thick, beautiful descriptive quality. But Gerald has much more of a sense of humor, and his writing is somehow lighter. It could be subject matter. They’re similarly evocative, but evoking very different things, and maybe that’s what’s affecting my view. Lawrence is also much more intellectual, and I know I’m just missing so much because of historical and literary references that I’m not familiar with. Oh well. I do like it, it’s just a little draining to read.
I have to stay here another hour. I may nap under my desk.
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