Still moping

I had some good bits in between. Christmas was pretty good. I missed my family and our traditions. I think they’re better than John’s. His are fine, but they’re not mine, and i think mine are more personal. His are more traditional. Whatever.

I picked up a bit of work, so that’s good. Now I just have to find more. I’m bored and irritated and depressed and tired of it. And I do things. Not as much as I should, but I got out, and visited Tenaya, and suchlike things. ANd yes, it distracts me,a nd makes me happy and improves my mood, but then I come back, and nothings changed. I was hopeful for a bit, in a better mood. And then I looked on craigslist for work again. There went that. I should stop looking. But then, I might miss out on something. Maybe someone will finally hire me. I’m tired.

I’m also very irritated. I’ve been working with a friend of mine, Jesse, to start a theatre company. Rather, he is starting a company, and asked a few of his friends to be part of that, and to be part of the board. I get to be the resident lighting designer. I like working with him. He’s a great director, and I like how he works. In theatre. Not in the management side. I feel like, aside from the actual directing (and he did find a space and write the fundraising letter, and get the website going) I have been doing everything. I understand he can’t take on more. But what about the other two people? I was the only one available to go to the non-profit seminar that’s required for us to incorporate. SO now I’m heading that project. Jesse should have been the one to arrange this next thing, but got me to do it. I shouldn’t have. Because now, we’re going to this great warehouse of materials tomorrow, and I arranged it all. Got permission from a non-profit to use their name (the part he should have done), got the account password, got the permission slip, made the appointment. Yeah, I should have checked that he was doing everything on his end. But i didn’t. And so, when at 2am, 10 hours before our appointment, i ask if he’s all ready, he says, well, kind of. We have no transportation, and nowhere to store the shit. We can store it at my house, that’s fine. But really? He waited till now to find transportation? We’re hopefully going to have 3 chairs with us. Jesus. And now he says we’ll just wait on that part till we’re done tomorrow. Also, the permission slip never got faxed to him. What the fuck. SO now I have to try to deal with that. I told him we needed it. I should have at least checked on that. But at the same time, where’s everyone else? Where are the two other board members? Where is the stage manager? I’m annoyed. Also, along with legit items on his list is shit like comb. Envelopes. 2 Books. Letters. Knife. Picture frames. Seriously? You don’t have this stuff around your house?

And it’s in a fucking art gallery. With switches on the wall. Even I, with all of my tiny no budget experience, can’t really see a way around this.

I need to go to sleep. I have to deal with all of this again in the morning.

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