Monthly Archives: December 2008

Still moping

I had some good bits in between. Christmas was pretty good. I missed my family and our traditions. I think they’re better than John’s. His are fine, but they’re not mine, and i think mine are more personal. His are more traditional. Whatever.

I picked up a bit of work, so that’s good. Now I just have to find more. I’m bored and irritated and depressed and tired of it. And I do things. Not as much as I should, but I got out, and visited Tenaya, and suchlike things. ANd yes, it distracts me,a nd makes me happy and improves my mood, but then I come back, and nothings changed. I was hopeful for a bit, in a better mood. And then I looked on craigslist for work again. There went that. I should stop looking. But then, I might miss out on something. Maybe someone will finally hire me. I’m tired.

I’m also very irritated. I’ve been working with a friend of mine, Jesse, to start a theatre company. Rather, he is starting a company, and asked a few of his friends to be part of that, and to be part of the board. I get to be the resident lighting designer. I like working with him. He’s a great director, and I like how he works. In theatre. Not in the management side. I feel like, aside from the actual directing (and he did find a space and write the fundraising letter, and get the website going) I have been doing everything. I understand he can’t take on more. But what about the other two people? I was the only one available to go to the non-profit seminar that’s required for us to incorporate. SO now I’m heading that project. Jesse should have been the one to arrange this next thing, but got me to do it. I shouldn’t have. Because now, we’re going to this great warehouse of materials tomorrow, and I arranged it all. Got permission from a non-profit to use their name (the part he should have done), got the account password, got the permission slip, made the appointment. Yeah, I should have checked that he was doing everything on his end. But i didn’t. And so, when at 2am, 10 hours before our appointment, i ask if he’s all ready, he says, well, kind of. We have no transportation, and nowhere to store the shit. We can store it at my house, that’s fine. But really? He waited till now to find transportation? We’re hopefully going to have 3 chairs with us. Jesus. And now he says we’ll just wait on that part till we’re done tomorrow. Also, the permission slip never got faxed to him. What the fuck. SO now I have to try to deal with that. I told him we needed it. I should have at least checked on that. But at the same time, where’s everyone else? Where are the two other board members? Where is the stage manager? I’m annoyed. Also, along with legit items on his list is shit like comb. Envelopes. 2 Books. Letters. Knife. Picture frames. Seriously? You don’t have this stuff around your house?

And it’s in a fucking art gallery. With switches on the wall. Even I, with all of my tiny no budget experience, can’t really see a way around this.

I need to go to sleep. I have to deal with all of this again in the morning.

Wooo, christmas, woooo!

Eh. I’m not that excited. There’s a package from my parents that still hasn’t arrived. I need to call the post office and see if I just missed the delivery slip. I’m going to John’s tonight, which will be good food and entertaining, but means feeling awkward as they open presents. I’m bringing mead, so at least I’m not showing up empty handed. I went and helped one of my bosses  with whom I’m friendly make cookies last night, and he gave me a bottle of his homemade mead, and a container of fudge and cookies. I feel the trade off is balanced in my favor, but that’s all right.

Odd dream all this morning about running away from this murdering dude. And bringing my cats with me.  I woke up slightly a few times, and went right back to the dream. I usually like when that happens, but in this case it was kind of annoying.

Also, it’s raining today. Laaaame. Seattle gets  a foot of snow, and we get maybe a couple inches, that’s immediately rained on twice. I don’t like rain. Once in a while it’s okay, but only in the summer, and when accompanying a thunderstorm. Also acceptable- when it happens at night. I understand the need for it, I just don’t want to be in it.

I applied for this job that I should have a good chance of getting, maybe. It’s a little confusing. The desciption I found on backstage was for lighting designer/assistant, and sounded pretty design based and such. It was a little vague, enough that it sounded interesting, and something I was qualified for. It’s at a boarding school in New Hampshire. So that’s fairly attractive, salary with room and board for 10 months. I get to not worry about rent, and actually save money for a year. When I went to the website to do their application form, it got a little confusing, since the job wasn’t listed there yet (I called the school to ask about it, and they directed me to the form) and it seems I’m applying for a teaching internship. So, I’d be teaching theatre classes. First with a mentor, and then on my own. Which would be pretty cool. But this doesn’t quite seemt he same as the initial ad I saw. I sent everything in anyway. I hope I wrote my cover letter in such a way that they’d hire me either way, more teaching or more tech oriented. We’ll see.

The problem, though, is that I kind of need work now. Like, last week would have been great. And in the next couple weeks. I’ve secured a few things, and i did little bits and bobs of work, but nothing substantial. It would have been nice to have even 2 full days. Oh well. I think I’ll survive. It just means I am having to be excessively careful with money, and not even buy ingredients to bake things for people for christmas. Yeah. It’s that tight. And Snippet keeps going to the vet every couple weeks. When I talked to my parents the other day, my dad was asking me how I was doing, and I guess I had too much pride to let him know that if they sent me money it would help a lot. I feel like I shouldn’t need help any more. I’m 24, I live on my own (with roommates) and really, I should be able to support myself. I had to ask for money twice my first year here, and once this year. I shouldn’t need to again. I’m supposed to be doing better and better each year. I’m pretty depressed about this actually. I’ve been hunting craigslist, I’ve sent out emails to crew chiefs that I know, I’ve told people I need work. There’s just not much to be found.

Time to shower. I have to go out into the rain to buy cat food. Awesome.

In which I am annoyed and worried

Meh. I have no work now. I finished the Juilliard shows, which were fantastic, and a success, and will not be seen by the general public, but for which I conducted myself well and “with great style and grace.” Actual quote. But now I have nothing. I reconnected with a deigner friend, and went to his christmas party and passed out a few business cards, like planting seeds, in the hope that jobs grow in the spring. I need to do the same with my resume and emailing it. Tomorrow. Or this week in general. The party was fun, though. I was a little nervous, not expecting to know people. I suck at small talk, even with people I do know. But I met an illustrator, who was pretty great, and talked to the circle of people around his desk (the party was at my designer friends’ studio space, shared with 5 other people) and then realized I knew a few other people from my Berkeley Rep days, and so on and so forth. As much as I want to be more social, and go to things one has to dress up for and all, I’m not that good at it, and I’m usually really relieved to get out of there. In this case, I left when I was tired. I probably could have stayed longer, but I was there for 3 hours, and talked to a bunch of people. Go me.

I went to the opening night of a show tonight, and to the party afterwards. That one- I bailed on pretty quick. It was way crowded and loud, and I hadn’t really liked the play, but I like/work frequently with people involved, so I smiled and said nice things. My tolerance for alcohol is also diving. Prague was kind of my last fling at enjoying drinking. It just makes my eyes itch and my stomach feel heavy and annoyed. Sometimes I can, and being tipsy is always good. But not always worth it. Oh well.

Right. I started out talking about how I have no work. This is not good. I have some checks to deposit, and then that’s the end of the income. And there’s bills to be paid, and christmas junk to do, and my cats medication. Fortunately, on that end, she’s better. So we’re tapering the steroids off, which means getting a blood test every couple weeks. I should have gotten pet insurance when i got them. Lesson learned.

I have the William Shatner Common People song stuck in my head.

I keep meaning for this not to be a laundry list of what I do, but more things I notice, comments on stuff. But then I can never remember anything when I go to write. Dang.

Oh yes! So I made my book goal. Surpassed, actually. 104, and I’m on my 105th. It’s Anna Karenina. I hope I finish it this year. It might be my first for next year. We’ll also ignore that there are several scripts and a good number of children’s books in there. I also included rereads, if I didn’t really remember the book. This was good, since there were several that were worth it. Somewhere around New Years I’ll do a post with my (oh so important) opinions or what have you on each. Even with the children’s books and scripts, I’m pretty proud of me. Aiming to read 100 books in a  year means just barely under 2 a week, which is definitely doable, but it’s easy to get sidetracked by work, be far too tired, to not be interested in the book you picked up and so be kind of turned off reading in general for a while. That happened a few times, I have a couple books that I started and never got finished. I’ll give them a try again soon. Anyway. Go me. And I hope I finish the Tolstoy. It’s very good so far. But I’m barely out of the gate. It’s also heavy to carry around. A friend of mine read War and Peace this year, and had a copy she didn’t care about, and so tore it into 3 sections so it wouldn’t be such a bitch to carry. I don’t quite have the heart to do that to a book, but it is tempting sometimes.

Well then

I had this whole idea that I was going to write a day by day account of Prague so as not to forget it. Whoops. No energy for such things. Suffice to say- We visited both castles. They were big. The first one seemed mostly to be a way of housing the huge and beautiful Gothic cathedral (of course crowded with slow moving tourists led by various flag-and-umbrella holders). There was also a WWI exhibit that John was greatly interested in. It was about the Czech participation in the Russian army and such. I enjoyed it, but was again reminded of how very little history I know, and how very little context I had to shove these things in alongside of in my brain. The other was overlooking the river and had beasutiful big purposeful walls. It seemed more castle-like, to me. We wandered around in the (still functioning, I realized with a slight shock) graveyard. Dvorak’s tomb is there, which was cool. Rodina is an infinitely popular name, apparently. And they had a fair amount of barely bigger than regular sized plot spaces that reported holding 8 or so people. I wonder if they just bury the first one really deep in anticipation. Anyway. After that we went down and walked along the river, a nice way to spend the afternoon. That was a later on day in our stay, the following monday maybe? We had done just about everything else (you know, that you’re ‘supposed to’ or something), and were down to wandering and enjoying. We managed to see two shows. One was a children’s puppet show, which was in czech, with lots of commenting children in the audience, so it was somewhat incomprehensible, but the usher came over to us afterwards, and explained that it was a czech fairy tale, and told us a bit about it. The other thing we saw was a black light theatre performance of Faust. It was pretty cool. John liked it more than I did, interestingly. Which is not to say that I didn’t like it. It was fun.

Other than that, we spent just about every night in this one bar, drinking and playing chess. The last few nights I added cards as well, to break up the monotony of losing (though there was one night when I won 4 out of 5, and soundly kicked his ass for all of those. It’ll never happen again). I love playing chess, but I needed variety.

Dumplings. I miss the bread dumplings. John is a good cook, and tried to recreate them over thanksgiving. He was pretty pleased with the result. I was underwhelmed. Perhaps the next batch. Before we left, we picked up what turned out to be a holiday edition of a home or cooking or something magazine, all dumpling recipes, and sauces, and sweet dumplings. Fantastic. All needing to be translated, but hey.

So I’ve been busy with tech for a show, and a sick cat. The cat is not terribly sick. But she was apparently very anemic, and has some sort of auto immune thing killing off her platelets. So now she’s on steroids (yay steroids!) and doing much better. But it means I need to be there every morning and evening to feed and dose her. No more staying out late. I have to come home first. Because of tech this has been a little awkward, but it works. And it’s good to be in tech again! Boring, sometimes. And I’m just assisting, so it’s lots of trying to keep up with relevant changes to cues, and keeping lists and all. I did, though, get to be the one to do all the focus notes, because he’s working on another show at the same time. So that’s a new dimension of assistant responsibility that’s pretty cool.

So, while writing this, I just did a bumch of research on the cat and dog fairy tale we saw. Apparently, we saw a couple. Which explains the lack of continuity between the first and second half. Also, this guy, Joseph Capek ( I can’t do accents, but there’s one over the c), who wrote them was apparently the inventor of the word ‘robot’. His brother, Karel, was a writer as well, more of science fiction type stuff, and was the first to use robots, and credits Joseph with the word. Joseph, terribly, died in a concentration camp, but Karel is buried in that cemetery at the castle. So we walked by his grave. And John actually has a picture of it, it’s a very nice stone, different. But hey! Weird chain of connections, eh?