Back in the New York

I’m not sure if it’s weird to be back. Maybe. Slightly. The last two weeks of Camp were tough. I had a bitchy little pathologic liar in my tipi, I also had 10 girls instead of 9, and I was ready to go home. Except I miss getting 3 meals a day prepared for me. And giant bowls to take to the salad bar. And the salad dressings they made. I miss some of the people, too. But really, I’ve just shifted from one place to another and now I’m here. So it goes.

I stayed in California for a 9 days after Camp, and John came out for 7 of those. We had the best time ever. I got to show him the East Bay, and take him around all these beautiful familiar places, we went out to eat a lot, he met my parents, we hung out with his friends, went to a barbeque, drove around the coast and the redwoods, got some goat cheese, played with bobcats, played chess, and generally had a lovely time. We slept in too late to do much on a couple days, so there were a few regrets about not doing enough, and I tended to commandeer the plan of the day. But we did do a lot, and had a ridiculous amount of fun, and completely enjoyed each others company. I want to move back there with him someday.

A few things of note- meeting my parents went really well. We went over there for dinner, he was quiet and not quite relaxed, but friendly, and polite, and they liked him. He liked them, and the house in general, and there were no awkward moments through the evening. Good times.  Second- we played with bobcats. A friend of mine at camp works at the palo alto junior museum, and so we got to go into the pen? enclosure? habitat? and sit with the bobcats, and pet them and play with them. They weren’t that big on me and Rose, one ignored us most of the time, and the other was interested in being petted, until she got more interested in nipping and bullying me. Then the boys, Braden and John, went in, and the cats loved them. Loved. Sat on their laps, drooled on their shoes, demanded petting. It was ridiculous. I was a little jealous that they didn’t like us that much. But it was still pretty cool to see.

About a year ago, I made John a postcard, a really nice one, of a view over a seagulls shoulder of cliffs and a lighthouse and a little sheep in the field. On the back, it said that I loved him, but that saying it outloud seemed somehow less meaningful than telling him I liked him, that he made me happy, etc. But that I wanted him to know. He was touched, and said both sides were beautiful, and at the time couldn’t return the feeling exactly, though he did care about me, etc. Totally fine with me, I wasn’t expecting reciprocation, just letting him know. Every now and then, I tell him “seagull postcard” instead of saying I love you. Last night, I got a text from him saying “Seagull postcard and all”. So.. hmmm. I don’t like reading into things too much, so I’m double guessing myself here, but I think he just told me that he loves me. Yes? We’ll see. I’m a little surprissed to hear it, but it doesn’t really change anything, I already knew how much he cares about me, just not in those words.

So now I’m back. I have nothing to do for another few days, and then I picked up some work for fashion week. Not as much as I would like, but enough to keep me going. And it looks like the second half of the month I’ll have work as well. I didn’t get the nanny job, mainly because I wasn’t there to meet her kids in time. Oh well. I’m bummed out about that, but it would have prevented me from really doing theatre. So not getting it is a reminded shove that I should just pursue what I’m most happy doing. So that’s good, I guess. I’m at loose ends at the moment, I have nothing really pressing, although I should do laundry, start finding more assistant design work, clean my room, buy more cat food. But nothing really urgent. Yesterday I ended up watching tv online the whole day. Today might be similar. Maybe I’ll go more for reading. It’s already the afternoon, so it sort of feels like it’s too late to start doing anything. Which isn’t true. But the feeling is there. Pidgeon is hanging out next to me. Snippet is not so big on that, but she did come sleep with me for an hour or two this morning. They both remember me, and seemed glad to see me, but the novelty wore off quickly and they’re back to being not too concerned with me being here. They got used to hanging out in Ian’s room while I was gone, which is a little annoying. I’m glad they like him, and had a person to be around, but now I want them to go back to me being their favorite. he also fed them fancy feast, which is a little like cat mcdonalds, I think. I’m going to get them back to better stuff.

One of the things we got in california- a mouse cheese grater. I’m kind of in love with it. It’s a white mouse, and the bottom side is a grater, and there’s also a clear piece you can put in there, so you can grate a bunch and then store it. I can now measure in mousies of cheese. The little things keep me happy. I also brought back some of the fantastic goat cheese we got, and the cats were big fans of that. It’s gone now, sadly.

Speaking of cheese. It’s time for me to get up and make breakfast. Getting hungry after all that sleep.


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