Monthly Archives: March 2008


Wow. I slept horribly. I hope that’s not indicative of how today is going to go. I didn’t fall asleep till 1 30ish, partly because I stayed up too late and partly because it takes me a while to fall asleep. I woke up convinced that it was either 7 30 or 8, and either way, i was just going to lay there for half an hour and then get up (my alarm was set for 8, but that was to give me extra time this morning). I sort of have to pee and that’s keeping me awake, and I finally look at the clock, and it was 5 20. Jesus. Back to sleep. I wake up at 7. And turn over and over and over and don’t sleep and at 8 I hit the snooze so it goes off at 8 30. Of course in there, I fall asleep and so wake up hell of groggy. The whole sleep thing felt very stilted somehow. Fake, and formal and ineffective. And now I have to get up and take care of shit and go to work. Bah.



There seems to be a toilet paper rivalry going on. Both charmin and cottonelle have all sorts of subway ads. Well. Charmin seems to have more tv ads, and cottonelle has more subway ads, but it could just depend on what subway train you’re on. Fascinating.

I got John a book- World War Z, An Oral History of the Zombie War. I read almost half of it while I was waiting for him tonight. I really want to finish it, but now I have to wait till he gets back from Costa Rica. Or I could borrow Riley’s.

The house is all quiet, I’m the only one here. Sarah’s never around, Madeline went upstate with her guy, Riley is staying with Zina. Just me. And my very cold feet.

I have work in the morning. I’m scared. I don’t know what I’ll be doing, and I’m sure I’ll be able to handle it, I just know there are going to be awkward things, and I’m going to have to ask lots of questions. I hate being unfamiliar. Reason why I haven’t traveled much even though I’d like to. I’m scared of/really dislike being new somewhere and not knowing what to do, how to act, where to go, and standing around looking stupid and obtrusive. I should get over it. Someday. I am going to use a bit of my refund money to get a passport. And then we’ll go from there.


What madness. What carryings on. I have funny friends. Zina and Erica and Riley all stayed over last night. We started at Zina’s dorm, with lots of youtube video watching. We were all greatly amused by the japanese game shows. They’re rather fantastic and ridiculous. There’s one called Silent Library (or else Quiet Library, I can’t remember) where there are 6 people around a table, and cards that are shuffled and laid out. They pick a card, and whoever gets the skull and crossbones one has to be subjected to whatever is on the board (which includes nose hair plucking, wasabi eating, and slap machine-ing). They have to be quiet the whole time. So it’s all muffled giggling and rustling around and general hilarity. There seems to be no real point.

We went to my house kind of late, getting there at something like 10 30 (I am an old lady in that if anything starts after 10pm, it’s really late. I don’t understand people who leave their house at 11 or so at night to go to a party. Weird) and everyone was hungry, so we made a giant pot of macaroni and cheese and some steamed brocolli. It was good. Originally, there was talk of watching a movie or something, but then we started talking about history (and our collective lack of knowledge of 20th century american history was appalling. Erica knew the most, and so she and Zina could tell us who was president in what decade, but none of us could really think of what had been going on internationally when Reagan was up. Arms race anyone? I had to look it up. Pathetic) which moved on to what events in our lifespan would be considered historical markers, and then to music, wondering what artists would actually be remembered, and if anything like the grunge movement, or the early/mid 90’s hip hop commercialization was happening now. Trying to see the tallest trees in the forest from the ground. They all know far more about music than I do, so I hung out and listened and was amused. We all work at the same camp, so that came up, and on and on. Around 2 we started having to shush and be quieter, and they were all curled up on the futon by 3 30. I felt a little like a parent hosting a sleepover, getting blankets and pillows, and loaning all three of them pajama pants. It was fun, though. Very entertaining and much laughter was had. I’m glad I was able to host the fun.

What I’m not looking forward to is loading in today. We were originally going to get to start at 11, but not so much anymore. We’re not allowed until 3. So I have from 3 to 11 to hang a plot, get it circuited, turn it on and troubleshoot anything, and focus it all. And now I have work tomorrow, so I can’t use most of that day to finish anything up. I’m freaking out a little because I know how these things never goes as smoothly as they should. I’ll have one person who I know who knows what they’re doing, and then a few (hopefully) with varying levels of what they know. And I’ll have to find the lights, and figure out where to put them. I know where I want to put them. But of course I’ve had no drawings, so I don’t know where the pipes are, and what’s possible, and I don’t know how closely the inventory matches, and what changeups I should be prepared for and all that. Rope light! I have to remember to bring it. oog. No fun. And I’m vaguely worried about Riley being able to get back to my place on his own, and him making it up all the stairs. He’s doing well, and pretty cheerful about it all, but it still kind of sucks.

I finished The Other Boleyn Girl yesterday. It was pretty good. It reads sometimes like a romance novel, and it’s rather sensationalistic, but that’s not always the fault of the author. They were all pretty ridiculous sometimes. All the time. And really, Anne is pretty stupid for not seeing it coming. So now I get to go see the movie. But not until thursday or friday. Or later. I hope it’s still in theaters. It’s hard to know how they’ll condense all that down to under 3 hours.

Riley lent me The Man Who Mistook His Wife for a Hat. I’ve barely started. It’s interesting. Seems like it may get pretty clinical (and Riley did say it was jargon heavy) which is not my best reading strength, but the subject is fascinating enough. He also brought with him World War Z, An Oral History of the Zombie War. Written by Mel Brooks’s son. I think I may need to get that.

Time to go check if Riley is awake. And I should be getting up. Oh! So Sarah has always said she doesn’t know how long she’ll stay here, she’s selling her flat in London and probably looking to buy a place here. Madeline mentioned the other day that John should move in. I mentioned that to him, and he didn’t sound completely opposed. He even sounded like he might like the idea, though he’s wary of it. I doubt he’ll move in, but I like the idea, and I like that he seemed to almost like it. I was reminded of this because I realized that I haven’t seen Sarah in something like a week. I’m not sure she’s been home. Hmm.


Wheee. The straight hair is gone. I miss it. It was so tangle-free, and easy to pull out of my coat, and pretty and smooth. Oh well. Showering felt pretty good, so it was a worthy trade.

There have been some really good subway performers lately. Or maybe I’m just going to 34th street more, and that’s where the really good ones hang out and I just didn’t notice. The best one was probably the guy with the leather pants and long hair rocking the pants off of his electric violin. It was rather thrilling to watch. Complete with little jumps, and hopping on one leg waving the other around.

The last few days have been weird. I kind of feel like I’m always in transit, on the subway or on my way to it. This isn’t true at all. After my interview, I came home, dropped off my portfolio, and went right back out again. The interview went well, though really short. I went in, we spent all of 4 minutes looking through my portfolio, all off 7 minutes looking at his projects, and then all of three minutes walking out to get him coffee and me to the subway. But I got the job. I get to draft in vectorworks for an architect, doing all sorts of crazy section and elevation work. It’s pretty cool. I’m mildly terrified I’ll fuck it up. maybe not. Anyway. I went home, dropped stuff off, picked stuff up, and went to the run thru for the silly show I’m designing. It’s not so silly. It’s even kind of good. Reading it, it’s two 25 minute monologues stuck together, about these women in New York. Big whoopie. But then when I saw it the other day, I got it. I understood why you’re supposed to care about them, and why they were written. So, come see it, if you’re in New York. ‘Kitty and Lina’ at the Manhattan Theatre Source, opening this coming thursday, closing the 27th.

On my way to the run thru, I picked up a slice of pizza at the place on the corner. As I was walking down the street eating it, like you do, this girl coming towards me said ‘oh my god, that pizza looks so good, where did you get it?’ I told her, and then she asked me if I knew where any sex toy shops were nearby. I didn’t.

I went straight from the meeting to John’s, and ended up spending the night. We watched Stardust, which he realized at the end he had read, and then watched a bunch of cooking shows, Kichen: Impossible and Good Eats, until we were exhausted, and it was almost 3am. He lives with his family, and for the longest time I wasn’t allowed to stay over, because he’d been lectured before about that sort of thing making an impression on his little sister. But I guess they’ve decided that she’s old enough (at 19), as the one other time I stayed over, his mom made me scrambled eggs. This time I got pancakes. Pretty good deal.

I know it’s weird that he lives with his family at his age, but at the same time it’s not. He’s paying part of the mortage, he’s looking for a place to buy, and he’s one of those people that thinks renting is throwing money away. He’s kind of right. And it means I get fed really well. So it works.

He drove me home, I took my shower, and then went to a couple more meetings for the not-so-silly-anymore show. They went well and quickly. I think they really like me. I should get over wanting people to like me. But in this case, they liked my in the first meeting because I had my shit together and went through the script quickly and explained my ideas along the way. In the second, they liked me because I was cheeky and witty and got the production manager pretty good for all the shit he usually gives me. Moving on from my neurosis. Here’s where the day got stupid. I leave that, heckuv early, and call John, he had asked if I was coming back over. He’s working on planning his Costa Rica trip, mapping out what to do when and all that. I was sort of hesitant to come over two days in a row, but he was fairly persistent in saying ‘it’s up to you’ and ‘so are you coming over here?’. He’s very noncommital and doesn’t ever want to tell someone what to do, and so you get used to interpreting the different levels. Usually, it really is up to me, and he’d like to see me, but either way is fine. This time, he wanted to see me. So I went home first, to get the dress that I asked his mom about fixing. It’s this great 40’s style goldish/tan velvety dress with elbow length sleeves, and a collar and it buttons all the way down the front. The thing is, it was stage rigged, so the buttons are all snaps, so you need to take the buttons off, move them to the other side, and put button holes where they used to be. She’s good at this sort of stuff. So I took that, and went back to the train. At the transfer point, I was reading and got on the wrong train. I got off as soon as I noticed, but I got off without thinking, and found myself at a stop where my train didn’t. So I had to get back on another wrong train, get off at an actual transfer point, and catch the one I needed. Some days I shouldn’t be let out of the house.

They planned their trip while I plotted my lights. I needed to leave earlyish because I (thought I) had work in the morning. So we watched more food shows, and he drove me home at 1. This sucked. I wanted him to stay over, but knew it was a bad idea what with me having to get up at 8 30. But then I woke up and called, and ended up not going. Laaame. He’s coming over tonight, though.

It feels a little weird, seeing him this much. I think he’s anticipating missing me while he’s gone. He leaves monday morning, for nine days. I’m excited about getting postcards.

That’s about all I had to say. Laundry list. But with all this subway time I’ve had, I’ve gotten a lot of reading done. And that part has been good.


So I just hauled my portfolio up from under my bed to look through it and see what needs to be improved upon within it, and it has cat hair everywhere. I don’t understand. Yes, I lived for a year with a cat who was fond of running into my room and hiding under my bed, but I could almost swear that I kept it zipped. Almost. Hmm. Even if I hadn’t, I don’t understand why the cat hair is IN it. Like, under the clear pastic page holder part. Sneaky, sneaky cat hair.

Yes. I have an interview. That just got moved to today. Whee.


What a long entertaining day. A day of much money spent somewhat accidentally. But generally worth it. I went to get my free haircut. I really like the girl who did it. And she did a really good job. Though we’ll see in a couple days what it really looks like. She started off wanting to give me bangs, the big heavy sideswept ones, but eventually realized that they would turn out really uncooperative, even with stenuous flatironing. So she satisfied herself with straightening the rest of my hair. This took an hour, which was a little ridiculous, but it looks freakin fantastic. The hair itself looks absolutely gorgeous, and after a day of surreptitiously looking at myself in windows, I think it looks pretty good on me. It feels really nice too. Very different, though, my hair is pretty wavy, and not prone to being told what to do. It was a free haircut, but I liked her and it was a good one, so I tipped her pretty well. More than I normally would, but probably less that she’ll be getting once she officially works there. Balances out I figure.

I lent my old useless computer to a theatre company for them to run a slideshow on for a show, but that was about 3 months ago, and they’ve made it pretty clear that they want it gone now, and I had some time to kill, so I went and picked that up. It’s a good enough laptop, it just has almost nothing on it now, and needs everything (including an internet driver) reinstalled, and I don’t really have the patience for such things. Also, I’m kind of holding a grudge towards it, for dying when it did, and for chewing up the harddrive as it went. Though I guess both of those are the hard drives fault and not the computer body’s. I make no such fine distinctions. So the downside was now having to haul a 7 lb computer around for the rest of the day. The upside was not having to get phone calls from them any more, and getting lunch.

I went to check out the light board that wasn’t working, it turned out the blackout button was pressed. But I had fun playing with stuff and fidling around, and somehow in there agreed to be part of the volunteer tech team there. It’s good, though, because it won’t all be on me, and hopefully someday, there will be money involved. And it’s a good space, of the sort that I think should be supported, and I have the time to give, so there you go. I also unloaded my computer on to her, so that worked out well for me.

Tenaya and I had planned to meet up and do something or other, so after a very lengthy conversation with me standing in the cold and her sitting in her nice warm apartment, I headed up to lincoln center to go peruse books before she met up with me to see a movie. I bought a lot of books. 11, to be precise. Never again. I was reminded of why I only buy books used. Although then the author doesn’t get their percentage, and I’m all for supporting authors, but jeeze. I guess I did pretty well, with only about 12 bucks a book. I just know that I could have gotten all of those for under $30 used. Enough bitterness. And now- the book list. With explanations, because I always feel it necessary to explain myself. Even if no one else particularly cares.

Half Magic, and Magic By the Lake, both by Edward Eager. These were ones that I suggested to the girl on the subway last week, and I have always wanted to own them. My mother does, but there’s no way she’s giving them to me now, and since she’s (hopefully) not dying any time soon, I figured I should buy my own. Logic.

The Mouse and the Motorcycle, by Beverly Cleary. While I was perusing the childrens books (and being horrified by the amount of utter trash that ‘teen readers’ are supposed to buy) I remembered how much I liked this book. I actually remembered it not too long ago in a conversation with John. I might read it to him. It has a mouse who has to make motorcycle sounds to make the motorcycle go. It’s pretty awesome.

The Diving Bell and the Butterfly, by Jean-Dominique Bauby. I have no idea what this is about. I saw the preview for the movie, and thought it looked really pretty, and so I grabbed the book on my way out.

Moon Palace and The New York Trilogy, both by Paul Auster. I just read Moon Palace, and really liked it, but it belongs to one of the people who moved out, and so it will leave someday. I figured I should have my own copy. Turns out he’s written quite a bit. I picked the Trilogy partially because it’s about New York (yes, I know. What a sucker) and because I had heard it mentioned, and because it’s 3 books in one.

Gone Bamboo and Bone in the Throat, both by Anthony Bourdain. I like his cooking show, I had no idea he wrote fiction. I picked up Gone Bamboo, and started to readthe introduction, and after the following, I would have a hard time not buying it- “I wanted a hero and heroine as lazy, mercenary, lustful and free of redeeming qualities as I sometimes see myself. … I can tell you that the people who get paid to read these things out in Hollywood were appalled by my loathsome couple. Studio coverage uniformly suggested – in the stongest of terms – that my hero’s should “learn from their experiences” and “grow as people”. I felt they’d missed the point.” Really, how could I not? And I got the second because it takes place in New York (I know, I know!) and the main character is a chef. I like reading about food.

The Other Boleyn Girl, by Philippa Gregory. Unfortunately the only copies available have the movie cover. Oh well. I kind of want to see the movie, but I definitely want to read it first. People I know have, and the general opinion is favorable.

In Cold Blood, by Truman Capote. I should have gotten this at the used bookstore in Berkeley two years ago. I didn’t, and had to pay for that now. But now I get to read it.

Man Walks Into a Room, Nicole Krauss. She wrote The History of Love, which is one of the most beautiful books I’ve read. That might be a bit of hyperbole, but I did enjoy it greatly. Now I get to read her again without rereading.

There you go. Books and explanations. Tenaya showed up and saved me from spending more, and we went to see Definitely Maybe. It was very cute. Slightly better and more interesting than I expected, but mostly just fun and pretty good. The other option had been There Will Be Blood, and while that would have been very good, I’m glad we went with the light and fluffy. It mostly takes place in ’92, and centers some on the (first) Clinton campaign, which I remember pretty well. I was only 8. Comparing my remembered perception and the movie was interesting. They mostly matched up. It’s the first movie I’ve seen where I was able to do that sort of comparison, and I kind of like that I’m getting old enough to have that sort of memory.

When I went down to the subway, I sat down in the first empty bench seat. This was possibly a mistake, but only because I’m fairly awkward at carrying on conversations with strangers. It turned out that I sat next to my look-a-like. Older, yes, different features, but the same complexion, nearly the same hair color, we both had straight hair in almost the same cut and length, and we parted it in the same place. Also, grey coats and grey and white socks. Ridiculous. She was very talkative, and kept going about her work and my work and various neighborhoods, and redheads in general. She did a good job of keeping up a steady stream until I got to my stop. The good thing being that I didn’t have to contribute too much.

Anyway. That’s my long and useless recitation of my day. I really like my hair. I don’t think I have either the patience or the skill to recreate it, but i might give it a whirl. It’s amazingly untangled. And smooth. These are thigns that merrit excitement in my world. I need more work.


The mistake I habitually make is that I have some ideas of stuff I wanted to write here, I log on, I see that people on my buddy list have updated, i read them, and then I have no idea what I wanted to write about. Or else it just seems silly and/or contrived. Or my writing in general isn’t up to par. So much pressure.
I went through all the w2’s and 1099’s that I’ve been collecting as they arrive. I might be missing three, I’m not sure. I went through my records of who paid me, and those ones seem like I should be getting something from, but I’m not sure. One of them paid me a substantial fee, and I called her to ask, because I assume she’s reporting it as a business expense. She was kind of surprised and had no idea, and said she’d ask her husband who’s in charge of that end of the business. This seems odd for someone who was auditted last year. You would think she would be heckuv particular about remembering to report things and mailing people the right documents. I’d really rather she didn’t report it, as it was somewhat significant, and I would have to pay taxes on it now. Not that I have much to worry about there. I added up everything from the forms, and according to the federal government, I am safely in the land of poverty. And luckily, most of my money was already taxed, and I have lots of deductions. I’m pretty confident that I’m getting money back this year. Also, I think I’ll apply for medicaid. This is exciting.
I cleaned my room today, of most of the flotsam that just got left on the floor after I unpacked it all. it looks pretty great, actually. I’m not done, i still have to put things on the wall, and get those little mirror clips so the mirror is at a good height, but generally? I’m happy. Even with the semi-spastic paint. Once it was as clean as I was going to do, I started in on the tax stuff, and actually worked at my desk. I feel much more productive than when I use my computer in bed. I want to try to keep this up here. The problem being that I don’t have a chair, so I had to steal one from the kitchen. But I’ll have to put it back later tonight, and then my productiveness will end. This is unfortunate. But incentive to get a chair.


I will probably stop this numbering thing soon, and come up with actual titles. It’ll happen when I forget which number post I’m on.

So, I had a craving last night for nilla wafers. This craving was slightly born of it’s own design, and partly because I made pasta for lunch and used too much garlic, and so after eating peeps, a pear, brushing my teeth, and eating a small bowl of curry soup, I could still taste the garlic sting. I love garlic. But 6 hours of garlic mouth taste was no good. So I went to get some nilla wafers, and ended up with those, ice cream, cheese, cereal, and olive oil. This happens a lot. Anyway. While I was looking at the cheese, I noticed again that there is no medium sharp cheddar. There almost never is. is this just New York? I’ve noticed it lately. I mean, I like sharp and extra sharp, but I generally melt it on toast, and the sharper the cheese the more crumbly it is, and the harder to slice. Also, when melted, the taste difference is pretty negligible. Anyway. Where was I. Staring at the cheese. Right. The whole point of this is that I saw some brand or other that had Sharp, Extra Sharp, and Seriously Sharp. I should have gotten that. I was a little stymied by it, though. Seriously Sharp. I guess that’s sharper than extra, right? makes as much sense as anything else.

I’m getting a haircut tomorrow. Magic of craigslist. It’s at an upscale salon-y place, I looked it up and haircuts usually range from 80-150, so I think I’m getting a pretty good deal. I guess this girl is just starting, and she has to prove herself, so they let her recruit people to test on. Usually in these ads, they only want people willing to go really short, or with straight hair. This was the only one I’ve seen that asked for people with all lengths hair, and wanted wavy and curly. Yes, I have been looking for this for a while. Shh.

The slight downside, I don’t think I get to pick what she does. I think (hope) I get enough input to say that I want to keep it long, and that nothing should be too short to be put up in a ponytail. But really, that’s about as much input as I would give anyone else. I know that my hair doesn’t look as good as it could (though it looks fine. Just kind of poofy occasionally), but I have no clear idea of what should be done to it. I figure people who cut hair (should) have a better idea of these things. Enough narcissism.

I’ve gotten called in to figure out why a lightboard isn’t working. I hope this is within my reach of expertise. I’m doing it for free, I guess. Which is okay. It may lead to paying stuff later, and it’s one evening.

I want a melon now. Cantelope or that other kind. The green one. Honeydew. Or something. I just ate a bunch of nilla wafers and now I’m wanting to counteract that with something cool and crisp and juicy. Maybe steamed brocolli, actually. We have a lot of that. Brocolli, I mean. I would have to steam it myself. Though we don’t have lemons. And what is steamed brocolli without lemon juice? I ask.

I watched The Goodbye Girl last night. Not what I would have picked as a title, but it worked. I liked it. Mostly. I always like older movies about New York. Also, 2 bedroom apartment on the upper west side for 200 a month? makes me cry. I liked Richard Dreyfuss. I haven’t seen him in that many things, but he’s one of those actors that everyone acknowledges is good. Knowing that never prepares you for seeing it again. He does lots of great little physical things, and subtext and facial things. The time period of the movie is a little odd. It seeme dto me that it took place over about 2 weeks. Everything happened very fast. I was supposed to be a few months, I guess. And the girl was pretty, but prone to hysterics, which is always irritating.


Spent a few hours today figuring out this whole wordpress thing, and how to get links on it and such forth. Progress was made! So that was good. I still can’t figure out why sometimes it double spaces when you hit enter. And how to make it the truncated entries that you click on, and then can move back and forth through like most journals. No matter.

I spent a lot of time yesterday looking for jobs online. The pit that craigslist has become. But I did find some interesting possibilities in the realm of personal assistant. I like assisting people. I also need to compile a list of theatres in New York to send my resume to. Awkward. I don’t know if any good will come of it. But there can’t be much bad coming from it, so it’s at least a little worth the effort. Also, a friend of mine called on friday, saying a friend of his just bought a theatre last year, and now is looking for tech advice, particularly lighting. This is interesting.

I’ve decided to talk to the roommates about getting cats. I think this would be a good place to have them. And in the crazy part of my brain, I occasionally feel like there’s one following me when I walk around the apartment. My solution is to look into getting a couple.

My mom sent me a pretty great easter package. Highlights of it- smartwool socks, Peeps, and earrings. Really, the peeps were the pinnacle. I’ve eaten most of them, but the last 3 are sitting on my windowsill now, drying out. If you let them get stale, they turn delightfully chewy and the sugar coating gets good and crunchy. I just hope I don’t get too impatient and eat them too soon. This is a definite danger. Also, playing with the lighter on my windowsill and melting them before their time.

My friend Riley came into town yesterday. I got to meet him at the airport and bring him to Penn Station. It was not that exciting, but I was very glad to see him. Though only for an hour or so on the subway, and then through the idiocy of Penn Station. Next week he’ll be staying in the city, with me mostly. I’m looking forward to showing him around and trading books. We both like time travel fiction.

I need to do laundry today. And apply for work. What a wild life.

Oh yes, so the show that I was assisting on- the designer needed me as an assistant because he has been banned from the theatre. So now it’s been decided that having him design from afar is silly (shocking conclusion) and since I am on board with ideas and interest, it’s been handed over to me. Which is sort of great. Except- when I was his assistant, we were splitting the design fee. We still are. This is, to me, utter bullshit. I’m really not sure how to address it, and I’m not sure why he’s being a jerk and keeping that money. He’s also the production manager, so if that fee was also his production managing fee, I would understand that. I don’t think it is, though. And I am much to shy to say anything about it. See, I worry that if I stand up for myself and say no, really, you need to give me more money, he’ll get pissy and it will ruin a working relationship. He’s passed on a couple gigs to me, to it’s sort of worthwhile to keep him around. I even understand if he wanted to keep some of the fee. He has done some groundwork of ideas and brainstorming and such. But 450 to my 350?  No no no. Not cool. So I need to figure out a polite yet effective way to talk to him. Without going behind his back. I think the producer and director would ally with me on this, but ganging up on him like that seems kind of fucked. So we’ll see. Sometimes I really want to quit theatre. I need to find some work that will remind me why I like it.


He was working alone tonight, so I didn’t get much time, but he came down to have coffee with me. i was surprised by how happy (elated, really) I was to see him.